swing for life

Cilla Black was the host of Blind Date. I say 'was' because I'm pretty certain that the show finished a number of years ago now, but if I'm wrong then I'm wrong and there's no way of taking those words back however much I might want to. Oh, I know it might not bother some of you out there, but I take all this terribly terribly seriously.

Anyway, people would go on Blind Date and have to sit on a rickety old stool next to three doors marked A, B and C, or perhaps 1, 2 or 3. Again, I'm just working from memory here as I would much rather slash my wrists with a rabid hamster than actually sit down to deliberately watch anything she presents. That's not to say that I hate her, so much as her big cheesy grin and extremelyirritating voice make me want to hurl myself off a really big building somewhere in Jamaica.

The contestant, a dating single,would then ask questions of the people sitting behind each of the three doors, and these questions could be anything at all. "How many times have you had a stroke?" or "How much would I have to pay you to get you to Hold the most poisonous and deadly spider in the whole wide world before sticking it down your trousers?" That kind of thing, you get the idea by now I'm sure. Hold on, I've got another one "How often do you stroke your hair while you hold a hamster in your mouth?" Yeah, that's it, I'm done.

Blind Date ran for an impossibly long time, which is why as I said I'm still not sure whether or not it actually has finished. It could still be on the air right now for all I know, and Cilla Black could still be saying "lorra lorra lorra" in that irritatingly perky way she did. I don't know why she spoke like that, frankly, it annoyed everybody. Maybe she had a Stroke or maybe she was just ginger, I don't know and I don't care because as I said I don't like her all that much.