swing for life

My name is Wilf and I am 45 years old. By the way I am really stupid and I live in a bin with my friend Froggy the badger. Froggy loves to cuddle people which can be really annoying sometimes when you're the kind of guy who doesn't want to embrace a badger, especially if it lives in a bin. Well, let me tell you about me, I have dark purple eyes with a tint of yellow hiding at the back, greeny/bluey skin with a nose that looks like it has been covered in cheese and toasted. I have no eyebrows and my lips are silver with 3 dark red teeth hiding behind them. My hair is gold with a silver pole going straight up from the centre of my head, all of my hair is attached to that pole. I have one ear because Froggy was hungry and I was asleep, oh yeah I forgot to tell you that I don't wear a single tiny bit of clothing. One day I was swinging on a home made swing that some guy had left in the alleyway, and Froggy really wanted to have a go at swinging. "Why can't I have a go at swinging!!! I hate you!!" shouted Froggy when Wilf refused to give him a go on the swing. "You can £@$% off, you never let me have a go on any of your stuff" replied Wilf calmly. "Fine then, I will." and with that Froggy stormed off out onto the street which was a very bad idea. "No! Stop!" shouted Wilf, not because he cared if Froggy went off but because there were cars out their and badgers are well known for how they deal with cars. Wilf ran out of the alleyway after Froggy. Someone screamed and was confused when he saw a woman looking at him in horror. Bing. He suddenly remembered that he was stark naked and that in normal society, you were actually supposed to wear clothes, not that Wilf knew why. As far as he knew, there was no reason to wear clothes. He ignored her and ran on through the crowd. People hurrying to get out of his way. He ran to the side of the road and that's when he saw him, Froggy or what remained of him was lying in the middle of the road not moving at all. He fell to his knees. He looked around him, no one was paying the dead badger any attention. If only he had let the badger have a go at swinging, then he would have lived and he was talking about dating a badger that lived next door.Then he saw the policeman running towards him.